Called by "New Landlord" Today
Got a phone call today from someone claiming to be my new landlord. I started laughing. He took offense. He had a thick, foreign, accent. I couldn’t place the location. The caller ID said Florida, but that was probably bunk too.
Let me explain.
Was waiting for something to complete on a computer and the home phone rang. The only number I give out is a 1-number that rings multiple phones. My cell phone was not ringing, so I knew this was a spam caller. Had 5 min, so I picked up, expecting to have a little fun. He said he was my new landlord and asked where the rent was.
I started laughing. Loudly.
He heard this and asked why I was laughing. So I called him a liar and asked him what my name was. He didn’t like that at all and started cussing at me, actually yelling. It was sailor-like cussing, not just 1 word, but a string of cuss words. Hardly the worst I’ve heard, but entertaining.
I calmly asked why he was so worked up and suggested he might have a heart attack over it. He answered with more cussing and hung up.
I was disappointed. Only got about 45 sec of entertainment. I need to do better. I can do better. BTW, the number he called was a VoIP number that I’m completely willing to drop/change with 5 minutes of effort. The phone number doesn’t point to my name or address anywhere, so there is very little risk that anyone will ever actually show up outside the door. Even my 1-number points to a small city about 50 miles away. My attempts to get any more data about me using those numbers has failed.
So … today is the 6th of the month, so a landlord might call a tenant over missing rent today.
Haven’t rented in almost 20 yrs, so this guy claiming to be my landlord was just funny to me. It has been a very long time since we made rent payments here.
I need to be a better actor. I will try harder and hopefully should get another chance shortly. Phone scams are way up this month, usually don’t have to wait long. My new mantra – be concerned and try to help the other guy, at least until he gets boring. I’ll
- try to get his name and address
- agree with whatever address he says is mine and whatever name he claims I have.
- quote the rental agreement for where the check must be sent. I can’t pay any other way, sorry. It is in the signed contract, after all. Perhaps we need a new contract? I’ll look for him at the property in the next few days. After all, he’d want to visit to see why I want a reduction in the rent over poor conditions.
- try to keep the other person talking for as long as possible. That should help to determine the accent and possibly the true location.
- point out that it needs new carpet and the rental agreement says that new carpeting will be provided every 10 yrs. It is year 11 now. Lacking the new carpet, I’ll be filing a lawsuit (my sister is a lawyer) and won’t be sending any rent until that has been addressed – she says I should get both the new carpet AND reduction in rent.
By doing this, I hope to get 3-5 min of entertainment from these parasites. That’s fewer other people they can call. Perhaps I’ll come up with a telephone survey and act like I called them. Should be fun!